The Cycle of Life

The Cycle of Life

I whimpered and rolled uneasily in my crib, my mother says. What an extraordinary sample of life! She thought, and gently thumped me back to sleep.

One day I demanded to know the purpose of a girl’s life. Was it only to please my parents? To merely memorize what the teachers demanded? Did I have to listen to them all?

My mother, with her eyes wide open and fingers on her open mouth, was amazed by my precocious inquiry. She kept her eyes on me.

In middle school I was appalled by boys’ behavior. But the dilemma of human life kept me occupied.

In high school, I asked what was the sense of my growing up when I couldn’t go anywhere on my own while boys went anywhere they wanted. The gender discrimination made me bitter. So, when boys were in sight I turned my head away.

In college, I sat alone to ponder how birth, life and death were connected. How all who were born lived and eventually died. After the sky-high blazing fire of cremation nothing was left but the mounds of ashes, white bones and bleached skeletons.

All the love and nourishing mothers gave, all their pride led to nothing. All the labor of birthing, rearing up, nourishing and children’s industrious schoolwork came to nothing. Yes, people grieved when their loved ones died but then they forgot and went on with their lives.

But what was the solution?

In the quiet of my room I wrote about the deceptions and disappointments of life and how we could overcome them. I wrote until the wee morning hours. My concluding decision was that all women should refuse to produce babies and save the coming generations from all the misery.

My mind was released. My heart untied. I wrapped a shawl around my shoulders and went for a walk. At the horizon the first glow of the sun met me full in the eyes.

On the street a man was taking his morning walk. I found myself walking next to him. He stopped and glanced at me. Before I could fully grasp the situation or realize what was happening, my mind felt numb, my heart beat fast.

Did I misunderstand? Was the purpose of my life to be with this man?
I stood motionless, admiring the man’s marvelous physique, his graceful gait and his resplendent smile. His purpose must have been the same as mine because he turned towards me and gazed from my hair to my heels.

I felt dizzy and helpless, as if intoxicated. I felt I could give my life for him. He said something and the passion in his voice rang in my ears. His touch delighted me. In the ecstasy of the moment, I forgot what I had concluded after writing the whole night.

Soon I became his bride. In nine months I was the mother of the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world. What an extraordinary sample of life! I thought, and gently thumped her to sleep.